In high school, I went from one really bad dating situation straight into another bad dating situation. The first one I was only in a month or so before the police got involved. The second one lasted six months before they got involved, but I stayed for almost two years.
The memories still haunt me, when I let them. I've gotten really good at outrunning the memories, and the second I feel them creeping up on me, I let my mind run to whatever it can reach before they can take over my head. Honestly, I just don't want to remember it. I lived through it once, I'm not sure I want to remember it over and over.
Yesterday I couldn't outrun them. And while I sat there, being swallowed whole by all these horrible memories, a little voice in the back of my head reminded me that sometimes you have to remember the bad parts to make you thankful for the good parts. Sometimes, you have to remember them, as painful as it is, to remember where you come from and how strong you really are. Sometimes you just have to sit on the couch and bawl your eyes out for the little girl you were two years ago. Sometimes you have to just let them start to drown you, so that you can remember you're capable of saving yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment