11/24/11

I'm thankful for strength

Every time I've rolled through my Reader today, it's been things people are thankful for. And as much as I love it, it makes me curious. Are these things not acknowledged daily that you love them and are thankful for them?

But every day is a new day, and every day brings a new thing to be thankful for. So what am I thankful for today?

For three years, I've wanted to go back to the very parking spot I was assaulted in, and just stand it in. A take back the power thing. That parking lot is on the way to my dad's house. Every time I've made plans, I've chickened out or felt like it wasn't the right thing to do. I knew I didn't want to go alone, and I knew I needed someone to go with me who would be able to tell what I needed. And as we drove by today, something told me today was the right day.

Thanksgiving week is always a little crazy for me because it's also the week my assaulter and I started dating, four years ago. So it's a big reminder or the past, and all the pain that comes along with those memories. I'm always really careful about triggering myself, so the plan has been to go during the summer, when there's no anniversary nearby.

But you know what? Today on our way home, I pulled into the parking lot. I parked and told Cody to wait. I walked down to the very spot he was parked, looked at the very tree that had been my saving grace. And even as all the memories started rushing around me, as I could hear his voice and see everything happening.


I walked away from all of it. Something I've been able to do all along, without even realizing. I turned around, and I walked away. 


I am so proud of myself for finally having the courage to face it.

1 comment:

Katie Boatright said...

I think I may have got lost on this a little bit. You were assaulted by someone? now your dating?

Stopin by from followers fest. oh yeah. Im a new follower!