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Every time I read this, I lose my breath for a second. It’s incredible, and ridiculous to think about how much I could accomplish if I just stepped outside of my comfort zone. If I set myself free from caring about extended family members judgments, away from the expectations, away from the stereotypes. How much I could achieve every day if I solely lived for myself and my own benefit, instead of trying to please everyone. Because that’s my comfort zone. I’m comfortable in a place where I do what everyone who matters to me wants, because I don’t want to disappoint them. I don’t want to let them down. And there are so many times that I run myself into the ground with stress and anxiety trying to balance everything I feel like everyone else wants me to do.

You know that movie Yes Man where he says yes to literally every opportunity that comes his way? That’s exactly my problem. I have no problem saying no, until it comes to the people I love. I want so badly to please them, to make them happy that I never stop to think about how it’ll affect me. How doing an extra project, or doing something their way will impact my time and life. It’s comfortable. It avoids me having to engage in conflict. It’s not healthy.

By this time next year, I want to be able to come back here and say that I learned how to stand up for myself to the people I love. That I learned to say no, to take time for myself. That I became an independent of a need for everyone else’s approval. Because as independent as I love to be, there’s always that desire to be approved. So in a year, I want to be able to only desire my own approval.

Is this anyone else’s comfort zone or am I the lone weirdo?

1 comment:

Janna Renee said...

Honestly, I have learned that this means SO much. Lately, I got pulled out of my comfort zone by some negativity at work, and now I feel like I have learned a million life lessons in one week. Good and "bad" things happen to us, but we have to grow from them no matter what! It's a gift either way.