Discovering you're a man at Walgreens

  • Getting life advice while you’re trying to partake in Sonic’s Happy Hour “You have to approach life like you would when you see a bee. So many people see a bee and scream, but if you just stay calm and hold still, life won’t sting you.”
  • Getting a call back for a job a week after they were supposed to call, making it obvious I’m a last ditch effort.
  • I like nail polish, a lot. That has nothing to do with the awkwardness of this, but just follow me. I wanted some new nail polish, so I made Cody take me to Walgreens. As we walk in, this older man is walking up to the checkout counter, yelling everything he says, so we can hear him perfectly. This is his conversation with the cashier:
    ”YOU KNOW WHAT I DISCOVERED THIS MORNING IN THE SHOWER?!” “What did you discover sir? “ “I’M A MAN!” (Keep in mind, this man was probably close to sixty) “Well, congratulations!” “AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I LIKE GIRLS.” “Well, that’s great!” (She seems so uncomfortable at this point) “SO NOW TELL ME, WHY IS IT IF I’M A MAN AND I LIKE GIRLS, WHY DO I WEAR MEN’S COLOGNE? I LOVE HOW GIRLS SMELL, SO SHOULDN’T I BE WEARING SOME OF THEIR PERFUME SO I LOVE HOW I SMELL?!”
  • Trying to convince people you’re not a creep, and not being successful.
  • Starting my new job! Which means new, business casual clothes.
  • Getting a B on my first American Lit test.
  • Going to buy music from iTunes and realizing you still have a gift card credit.
  • Big Easy Brides. So much crazy, drunk, drama-filled weddings.
  • LMFAO’s new song—I’m Sexy and I Know It

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