9/16/11

The time I had to fight off a kidnapper.

 

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My whole life I have a had a huge heart, that's gotten me into trouble. I instantly trust everyone I meet and want to genuinely believe that there is good in everyone. And every time a silly boy would break my heart, or a friend would stab me in the back, I would cry and pray for an answer of why I have such a huge heart full of love. 

When I was fifteen I underwent an extreme trauma and after that, became incredibly hypervigliant of my surroundings. I can tell you pretty much every detail of any person who's doing something that I don't see as normal and I"m always incredibly aware of who's around me. 

Today, I was outside with my class. We were alone and playing on the playground. All of a sudden, a man pulls up on his motorcycle and starts yelling for one of my kids. I didn't know who he was and since he had to go around back AND since we had just gotten outside, it was really weird. The kid finally went over there, but he was bawling. So I started walking over to where they were talking. One of the kids told me that that was the kids dad, so I felt a little bit better but I was still really confused. Normally a parent greets me before he starts talking to his kid, and normally they go through the site director who sits inside. None of that happened. Then, I walk over and figure out through my limited Spanish that he's asking his kid if he likes the red motorcycle he's on or the green one and telling him to get on and ride it. The kid keeps crying so the dad asks me why he's crying, but I have no idea since we just got outside. Once the man realizes I'm not going to let the kid out of my sight, he finally leaves. 

At this point, the little boy is crying so hard he's shaking. I pulled him aside, and he starts telling me that the court said that his dad can't have any contact with him because he's been harrasing them, and that his dad is court-ordered not to show up at school or home. I made sure he knew that I would never, ever let anyone hurt him. 

My prayer was answered. 

You know why I have such a big heart?

Because it's what guides me to protect. It's what made me go into complete protector mode of a little boy I had just met, willing to do whatever it took to keep him safe. It's what had me running an advocacy group to raise awareness for what happened to me at fifteen, so that no one else had to live through the pain I did. It's why I was guided to a job working with under-privileged, at risk children to give them unconditional love and encouragement. It's what makes me fall in love with my job everyday because I get to give these kids a chance that they might otherwise never get. God gave me a heart this big, so that I could love those who need it so much. 

The world is big and bad on it's own. If occasional heart break is the price of making someone else's world filled with all the love in my heart, then it's more than worth it. 

Because that little boy? He gave me a hug today when he left, and told me he was glad I would be there to protect him.

And that moment ranks right up there with the experiences when I was fifteen as life changing.I will never wonder why I was given such a big heart again, I'm just going to love with all I have.

2 comments:

Summit said...

aww :) that was sweet of you

Mrs. Robinson said...

I came across this post when I was reading Ashley's blog this morning. It's so sweet... good for you for having a huge heart & doing the right thing. It'll pay off :)