As much as I love talking about the people who come into my life, I’m not going to bust out their pictures when I’m talking about weird things they do, so you’ll have to stare at the weirdest faces I could possibly make in ten seconds.

Some people I just don’t understand.

If we have the following phone conversation, don’t be surprised when I disappear of the face of the Earth.
"hey what're you doing?"
"sitting at home"
"why are you being a dick lately?"
"YOU have a dick. "
"uhm. Okay. Or we could just have an immature conversation. Might as well call each other stupid heads at this point"
"okay. Stupid head. "
"stop. I'm trying to have a completely serious conversation with you"
"about what?"
"why are you being such a dick? You're sending me mixed messages. Either you want to be involved and pursue something, or you want me to friends zone you. But you can't keep flip flopping. It's not fair to me to expect me to just sit here and wait. "
"I just don't know what I want right now. "
"but you never know and that's the problem. "
"alright well I have to go"
"if you go, I'm done. If we can't even have one mature conversation and you're just going to be immature and run away from conflict then I'm done. "
Hangs up
If I see you wandering around the basement of one of the buildings at school holding a toilet paper roll to your chest, and cradling it like an infant, don’t be surprised when I give you weird looks. And then when you walk into the bathroom with it, come out without it and exclaim “Awh, crap. I forgot it” and go back into get it. Don’t be surprised when I giggle.
If I see you sitting in a handicap cart at Wal-Mart passed out, don’t be surprised when I slow down to make sure you’re alive. I’m being kind.
If you work at a drive thru and I tell you I’d also like to pay for the person behind me’s meal, just let me do a nice act. Don’t repeatedly ask me if I’m sure. Because yes, I’m positive, and I have things to do.
If the entire class doesn’t laugh at your joke, it probably wasn’t that funny to begin with. So don’t say “Guys that was a joke” and then repeat what you said. Just move on. Maybe we’ll like the next one.
Am I the only one who interacts with strange people on a daily basis?


KnittedFox said...

OMgoodness, I interact with so many weirdos! Before I owned my store I dealt with even more, but I have a decent amount of strange people that walk into my store.

If only I had a secret camera capturing all the crazy stuff that people say or do. o.O; It would be hilarious! But it's for the best this camera doesn't exist. xD

Alana Christine said...

SEXY!! bahahahaha
You run into the weirdest people...

La Mode by Marianne said...

Haha this was great, and yea I've had a lot of weirdo encounters myself (especially in Walmart lol).

Oh and that guy sounds like a complete tool - you deserve an awesome boyfriend...not a small child to raise

Natalie said...

Haha I have encounters like this on a daily basis. It astounds me the strange people I attract.

Cami said...

Sheesh. Where do you live..Weird city?! :)

<3-Cami from First Day of My Life